Oh, I wish...

My husband tagged me in this little game. Basically I’m supposed to pick five professions from the list below and finish the sentence. I purposely did not choose psychologist, because I am one..or play one at my internship. I decided to add UPS driver to the list. My dad has been one for almost 30 years, and thinks his job isn't interesting. But think of all the packages...

If I could be a scientist…
If I could be a farmer…
If I could be a musician…
If I could be a doctor…
If I could be a painter…
If I could be a gardener…
If I could be a missionary…
If I could be a chef…
If I could be an architect…
If I could be a linguist…
If I could be a psychologist…
If I could be a librarian…
If I could be an athlete…
If I could be a lawyer…
If I could be an inn-keeper…
If I could be a professor…
If I could be a writer…
If I could be a llama-rider…
If I could be a bonnie pirate…
If I could be an astronaut…
If I could be a world famous blogger…
If I could be a justice on any one court in the world…
If I could be married to any current famous political figure…
If I could be a service member…
If I could be a photographer…
If I could be a philanthropist…
If I could be a rap artist…
If I could be a child actor…
If I could be a secret agent…
If I could be a comedian/comedienne…
If I could be a priest…
If I could be a radio announcer…
If I could be a phlebotomist…
If I could be Paris Hilton’s stylist…
If I could be the CEO of Microsoft…
If I could be a movie producer…
If I could be a laser hair removal specialist…
If I could be a dog groomer…
If I could be a bicycle repairman…
If I could be a Lumberjack…
If I could be chauffer for Michael W. Smith…
If I could be a Head Football Coach…
If I could be an insurance adjuster…
If I could be funeral home director…
If I could be a bus driver…
If I could be me…
If I could be Secretary of State…
If I could be an assassin…
If I could be a whore…
If I could be a game developer…
If I could be a vampire slayer…
If I could be a nerf herder…
If I could be a UPS driver...


Anyways, here goes:

If I could be a Head Football Coach…then I'd be damn good, cause those good ol' boys would only let a woman in if she whupped 'em good. I'd also scratch myself, spit, curse, and get a pot belly from eating stadium hotdogs.

If I could be a llama-rider…I'd train my llama to spit on the following people: G.W. supporters, bad parents, fundamentalist anything,people who ban books, my cats (for fun), and maybe my husband when he doesn't do the dishes.

If I could be a whore…I wouldn't have to be in school. I already have my degree in sex, and more years experience than I wish I had.

If I could be a game developer…I would develop games for all the people like me who do not care for games, who cannot seem to function in increasingly 3D graphic environments. I'd start the Paperboy for SNES renaissance. The best game ever!!

If I could be an architect…I would design sustainable housing with timers that cut the hot water off if you take too long, actual space for recycling bins in a two bedroom apartment, and an out of the way place for the cat poopy box, which would clean itself.

I don't have anyone to tag :(. All my blogger buddies have already done this. So, I TAG THE NEXT THREE PEOPLE TO VISIT. (Who either haven't done this already, or who want to do it again.)