Just a Normal Person

Somedays, I am just a normal person. Not a graduate student, not a therapist, not a teaching assistant...just a human trying to get by. Today was one of those days, if we ignore the 7 hours that I spent at Panera Bread working on my theoretical orientation for my professional qualifying exams. But, it's not outside of normal that someone might work at Panera with a friend on a Saturday to get some things done. So we'll just pretend I was working on something a little more "normal." Like taxes, or the next chapter of my best selling novel. HA!

Anyway, I had some observations today:

1.) If you chew with your mouth open and literally slurp your pizza-like dinner so loudly that it makes my (awesome cool girl) friend and I break out in giggles 15 feet away...you have a problem. Perhaps a serious one. Come on...really...surely you must be aware that you slurp solid foods so loudly that no one can enjoy eating, working, talking, or even being near you at Panera.

2.) Mother's have difficulty hiding what they are thinking. My mom, bless her heart, sounded suspicious on the phone tonight because while I went shopping (for clothes! that fit!), my husband wisely spared himself from such horrors. He, instead, went to a movie......gasp! Without me. Will someone please send my mom a post card that our marriage is better than ever...probably because I no longer feel the need to bring my husband clothes shopping.

3.) Forth and Towne is the best new shopping experience known to woman. They give you free bottled water. And bring you sizes! And have good lighting and mirrors! And they put things on sale! And Clinton and Stacy from What Not to Wear totally need to give me $5000 to spend on clothes. I dress like a sloppy overworked grad student because I have the budget of a sloppy overworked graduate student. And because I hate to iron.

4.) Of our two cats, Pippin is a jerk! At Ikea I bought a dining room rug ($40! A rug! It's new! And beautiful!) The moment I unwrapped it, he claimed it, rolling around on it, chasing Zuzu away from getting near the full 12 square feet of space available on the rug. As if his butt needs all that room! Then..then! I had bought this little kitty pop up tent ($5! Endless distraction while the cats act stupid!) for the cats to hang out in (hey, I shop like....never) and he won't let Zuzu in it either. I need to send my boy to therapy or something. Does the dog whisperer take on feline cases?

5.) Speaking of Forth and Towne, I finally found jeans that fit me great! (Tonight! is the night! of the exclamation point!) The curvy stretch jean in size INSERT LARGE NUMBER HERE A. See,cut R is for all you regular folks with legs like giraffes. And cut A is for those of us with midget legs on an otherwise normal body. Like me. It's not a petite, which is cut for true little people. Nope, I'm a normal 5'6" height person with shrunken legs. Think Bart Simpson, all body and stubby limbs. On sale, they were a price that will be worth it if I sleep in them, wear them to work, school, and all formal occasions.

6.)Tired of snow. Tired, tired, tired of this snow. Cold, wet, snow. Tired of the dirty shoes, the wet pants, and the snow.