Today, I was talking with some Master's program students, and we were discussing what are good reasons and what are not good reasons to apply to a doctoral program, and specifically the doctoral program at our school. They were asking me about what I was juggling, my school and practicum responsiblities, mission work, TA hours, etc.
One of the ladies turned and looked at me, and she said, "But you seem so calm, and you're sitting here taking time to talk with us, when you have so much you could be doing." Wow! I almost had to stop and ask if she was talking to me, because based on the person I have been for the first 26 years of my life, those are not reflections that I would expect. But that is me now, and I am this recently calm, almost serene person. It's amazing the work that Christ has done in my life, making me this new person whom I have to get to know all over again.
Life is crazy insane, swirling all around me, but in most moments I have a peace that I have never had before. It's amazing the faithfulness of God. Look at me! Using God talk type of language that I usually avoid. I almost hesitate to talk of these feelings and this experience because religious language and concepts have been abused by many in my past to produce trite answers and fake joy. But, I don't want to deny that this change is not my own, that's for sure.
So, what the heck. Peace be with you.
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1 comment:
Gee, you want to email me some of that Peace you have? :) Also, remember... sometime in the fall you blogged about an "anger phase" if you will... that you went through. You had mentioned "Angry music" or angry mixes.. I wish we could find out how to trade those. I have good songs, but I need more. and variety is good for that, right? Have a good week ahead!
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