Quotes from Soul Making

Probing doubt is the handmaid of faith. It is my way of entering the Interior Castle. ...the questioning process (by which I don't mean mere intellectual problem solving) itself is a revelation to me of God's gracious way of dealing with us. That is why, as believers, from time to time, need a break with their old ways of believing. Believers as well as unbelievers are in need of conversion. But it's easy to see why this approach doesn't go down too well in our culture. Few would want to be free of either their idolatrous imaginings or their fixed opinions. (p.19)

How am I to be in the world?....How can I be a believer in today's world in such a way that it involves my whole self--my passion, my intelligence, and my allegiance? My question always invites me to return to the desert. (p. 20)

Look! Weep! Live! These three great imperatives from the desert tradition open up for us a way of believing that is life bearing. They shape and order this way of believing so that it breaks us open (walled up as we are in our fears and prejudices) and begins to "make us over." In this process we are born again and again and again. Trying to be obedient to these three imperatives rescues me from the being mesmerized and rendered powerless by the sense of the unreliability of my own private judgment.

The first imperative is Look! Looking means a contemplative willingness to see what is there in front of us without prematurely interpreting what we see. The desert tradition claims that if we look long and accurately enough, the tears will begin to flow. thus the second imperative is, Weep! The fruit of honest contemplation is "the gift of tears"; and the sure sign that our attentiveness has been focused and honest and the tears cleansing is joy. Joy is the fruit of desert patience. Thus the third imperative, Live! (p. 22)

What do we see if we take the time to look? We see disconnection, absurdity, and glory--certainly these are contradictory things. If we look hard enough, we will see a great deal of glory and promise. Unfortunately, our vision is often distorted by our pain and suffering. But we need to look at pain and suffering if we are to see past them to the glory and the promise. There is real glory in a way of believing that tries to be honest about what it sees. This has, at least, the promise of maturity. (p.23)