It has finally happened. I have reformed my husband so that he finally notices the dust, the dirt, the mucky kitchen sink. He even notices, "Hey, it smells like cat shit around here." Then, he actually picks up some cleaning instrument and does something about it! It only took one year of dating, one year of engagement, and nearly three years of marriage and three moves to do it.
Isn't that what every wife dreams of? To have a husband who realizes the dirt and also does something about it. But let me tell you a little secret. I hate it! Because now I don't get to be the clean self-righteous one. He has started to realize that a lot of that messiness I groan and mumble about comes from me! So he then yells at me to quit leaving my stuff all over the place. I'm the one who never puts away my shoes, my makeup, or my keys. But when I was the one doing all the cleaning, I got to bitch about picking up my stuff. (On a side note, I just saw another hubby beating the bathroom rugs out on a neighbors balcony.)
Well, at least I can still revel in the glory that my "clean" is cleaner than his "clean." Like, I clean the tile grout. I don't forget to polish the stainless steel tea kettle. I clean the dust out of the grooves that are carved into my desk. I dust the light fixtures.
But really, why is so much of my identity tied up in how clean our apartment is? Is it progress that I have helped my husband internalize some of that to? Or is it a huge step backward? The cats really don't seem to have an opinion on the issue. Unless, that is, you don't scoop their box for a LONG time. Then they poop on the new rug. Maybe that's what I should do the next time hubby puts off the cleaning for about 6 weeks when it's his turn.
Saturday, May 14, 2005
Sunday, May 08, 2005
Drat, and I've been wrong all this time...
Check out this link. It made my blood boil so much that I couldn't even respond..
http://www.briceandbensa.com/WhyWomenShouldNotBePastors.htm
http://www.briceandbensa.com/WhyWomenShouldNotBePastors.htm
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
My Life Is Fucked Up
I haven't posted lately, because, frankly, I'm too busy. Literally, if you added up all the things that I have to do in a week, it adds up to over 80+ hours. That's not including time for sleeping, eating, connecting with people, sex, or the occasional "oh my goodness, my best friend is freaking out and needs me" moment. I don't even have time to clean my cats' litter box. (Thank you, sweetheart, for doing that.)
Recently I've been evaluating why I happen to be so busy. Sure, graduate school is hard, and an honorable thing to do. I feel called to do it, or else I wouldn't be giving up so much that I want for a damn piece of paper that says I read a lot of books. But even if this period of my life is one of winter so that I may grow, I know God doesn't want me to be a stressed out, uptight, jackass who has no time for anything extra but sleep, food, and blogging at 1AM.
So I'm quitting two of my three jobs. It's a faith issue, really. I don't trust God to provide, so I try to do it myself. My husband's pay is mediocre, and when we return from a mission trip in Europe, he'll be unemployed. So I work, and work, and work...thinking that I'm the one making all this happen. I'm a real idiot sometimes.
What is even more bizarre is that I am a therapist. I help other people get their lives back by acting like participant observer in their lives. I guess it takes one to know one.
So, if my husband and I start to starve, will you peeps out in bloggerland send us some Ramen?
Recently I've been evaluating why I happen to be so busy. Sure, graduate school is hard, and an honorable thing to do. I feel called to do it, or else I wouldn't be giving up so much that I want for a damn piece of paper that says I read a lot of books. But even if this period of my life is one of winter so that I may grow, I know God doesn't want me to be a stressed out, uptight, jackass who has no time for anything extra but sleep, food, and blogging at 1AM.
So I'm quitting two of my three jobs. It's a faith issue, really. I don't trust God to provide, so I try to do it myself. My husband's pay is mediocre, and when we return from a mission trip in Europe, he'll be unemployed. So I work, and work, and work...thinking that I'm the one making all this happen. I'm a real idiot sometimes.
What is even more bizarre is that I am a therapist. I help other people get their lives back by acting like participant observer in their lives. I guess it takes one to know one.
So, if my husband and I start to starve, will you peeps out in bloggerland send us some Ramen?
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
It's not suspicious...It's unusual.
So, this week I was offered the opportunity to attend the "world" convention of the American Association of Christian Counselors conference next September. I accepted the offer because who wouldn't accept free hotel, airfare, and conference admission to her home state? But the more I think about aligning myself with the AACC, the more anxious I become.
To be honest, I am suspicious of most Christians who call themselves counselors, or those organizations who purport the concept of "Christian counseling." Often, such organizations promote the manipulation of vulnerable individuals by using scripture laced with some psychobabble. They effectively take people who are at their wits end, on their knees, and then bastardize the Word of God in order to make people think that all their psychological ailments will disappear if this person prays harder, believes more faithfully, or what have you.
What I do in my therapy office just isn't that. Sure, some of my clients and I talk a lot about their relationship with God. Most are Christians, because we are known in the community for having a Christian staff. But, I hardly ever mention scripture. I may paraphrase it on occasion, especially when a client claims something preposterous in the name of Christ, Christianity, or the Bible. But I have to say that my being a Christian does affect the way I see my clients. I pray for God's leading to not totally screw things up, to lead me in what I say. I pray for my clients (but not with them).
The less fundamentalist I become with my faith, the more I see how good psychotherapy, good theology, and good faith praxis can overlap with little distinction. However, God won't cure all your psychic or your physical pain. And I can't do that.
What I find even more ironic is the fact that I am much less hesitant to sign up to be in cahoots with secular psychology. I'm a member of the APA without batting an eye. I would probably be less discerning about entering into research with certain nonChristians than I would be with certain Christians. Eventhough I probably disagree with most secular psychologists about more crucial things than I do with other Christian counselors, I embrace the secularists. I dance for them. I make my theology and research fit their posters, presentations, and conferences.
Why is it that I am so afraid of other Christians in my field that think less integrationally than I do? I enter into the world of secular psychology with enthusiasm, but feel nervous around my own brother's and sisters. Pursuing psychology from either perspective can be equally damaging.
As an integrationist, I feel like nobody wants to listen to what I have to say, outside of my tiny integrationist community. The world of secular psychology writes me off as some fundy whack job that is manipulative with a God complex. The Christian community of counselors think that I've sold out God in favor of the "Secular Humanism" of the "World." Sigh.
To be honest, I am suspicious of most Christians who call themselves counselors, or those organizations who purport the concept of "Christian counseling." Often, such organizations promote the manipulation of vulnerable individuals by using scripture laced with some psychobabble. They effectively take people who are at their wits end, on their knees, and then bastardize the Word of God in order to make people think that all their psychological ailments will disappear if this person prays harder, believes more faithfully, or what have you.
What I do in my therapy office just isn't that. Sure, some of my clients and I talk a lot about their relationship with God. Most are Christians, because we are known in the community for having a Christian staff. But, I hardly ever mention scripture. I may paraphrase it on occasion, especially when a client claims something preposterous in the name of Christ, Christianity, or the Bible. But I have to say that my being a Christian does affect the way I see my clients. I pray for God's leading to not totally screw things up, to lead me in what I say. I pray for my clients (but not with them).
The less fundamentalist I become with my faith, the more I see how good psychotherapy, good theology, and good faith praxis can overlap with little distinction. However, God won't cure all your psychic or your physical pain. And I can't do that.
What I find even more ironic is the fact that I am much less hesitant to sign up to be in cahoots with secular psychology. I'm a member of the APA without batting an eye. I would probably be less discerning about entering into research with certain nonChristians than I would be with certain Christians. Eventhough I probably disagree with most secular psychologists about more crucial things than I do with other Christian counselors, I embrace the secularists. I dance for them. I make my theology and research fit their posters, presentations, and conferences.
Why is it that I am so afraid of other Christians in my field that think less integrationally than I do? I enter into the world of secular psychology with enthusiasm, but feel nervous around my own brother's and sisters. Pursuing psychology from either perspective can be equally damaging.
As an integrationist, I feel like nobody wants to listen to what I have to say, outside of my tiny integrationist community. The world of secular psychology writes me off as some fundy whack job that is manipulative with a God complex. The Christian community of counselors think that I've sold out God in favor of the "Secular Humanism" of the "World." Sigh.
Monday, April 18, 2005
Ya'll, I'm Southern
Your Linguistic Profile: |
65% General American English |
30% Dixie |
5% Upper Midwestern |
0% Midwestern |
0% Yankee |
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