Can we up the value of X in a Y dominated market?

I don't really know what's typical for the post-college twenty-something versus what's typical for the graduate student when it comes to personal development, because these two periods of my life have been mostly concurrent. Beginning my fifth year of graduate school (Help me, God.), I am just now beginning to decide what pieces of my life are necessary to make me who I am. For my entire life through college, sports were how I spent a large part of my life. But with marriage followed swiftly by a long distance move and graduate school, I just did not know where athletics fit in.

I didn't really realize how much I had completely banished sports from my life until last summer. I attended a summer psychology week hosted by the grad department at the college's camp in the Northwoods of Wisconsin. In between classes there were lots of Ultimate Frisbee games, canoing, and wall climbing. My professors, who had known me for three years at that point said they saw a whole new side of me, the jock. Fiercely competitive, but having fun, and totally athletic. Not the assumption people make about me given my recent weight gain.

So, I have started to incorporate team sports back into my life. Having played somee form of base/soft ball since I was four years old and well until college, I can't believe that I have let this sport that I so love slip from my life. So, I joined a co-ed slow pitch team from my church.

Last night was our first game, and I learned that this isn't softball as I am used to it. See, it's a speed game. The count is already 1-1 when you step up to the plate. That's different, but okay, whatever.

But, then, I learned the hard way about another set of rules. These rules are to make it "fair" for the women who play on the team. First, there must be four women on the field at all times. Well, that rule I understand, because many men would lean toward playing more men and fewer women or play all men and no women, etc. So, okay, nearly half the team needs to be women, although I wish that I lived in a world where women were taught athletics more readily, held to the same high standards as their male counterparts, and were able to have circumstances support them in their continuation of playing sports into adulthood. I also wish that I lived in a world where I did not have to worry about a team not playing women based on an assumption that they were inherently less "good" at athletics simply because they have a uterus.

However, there are two sizes of balls. A smaller one used for women, a larger one for men. What the heck? I can accept that on average a woman has less upper body strength and might not be able to hit the homerun spans that the men can. However, that doesn't mean that we can't play the game. Our game looks different. We rely on strategy, base hits, great base running, and more than pure strength, a different set of skills rather than an inferior set. I played softball from the ages 9 through 12 with a regulation large slow-pitch softball. I did just fine then, and I can do just fine now. I just let it go, because, whatever.

But what upset me the most was when I was up to bat. I had gotten two solid hits at my two previous at-bats. There were two outs, and two on, because the guy in front of me had walked. Then the pitcher says, "You get to walk if you want to." I was confused..was he walking me because my hits were damaging before? Because I was batter 9 out of 10? what?

No, I quickly learned that if a male player walks (base on balls) with two outs, the batting team has the option of walking the female who bats after him. This is supposedly to "prevent" teams from walking male players to get to female players. Initially, I was insulted by the rules. Then I was insulted that the men on my team kept saying to take the walk. What?

I was upset by this rule, I verbally said that this was the most unacceptable rule that I had EVER heard of. Why? Because it inherently assumes that the male players are better than the female players at hitting. I was incredulous. I was even more incredulous that some of the guys on my team were placating me, saying things like, "It's not a big deal. Just let it go." I wasn't throwing a hissy fit or anything, I just kept muttering in incredulity and anger that this was the dumbest rule that I had ever heard of.

I finally told my third base coach, that sure, he could let it go because the rule didn't assume that he wasn't as good simply because he was who he was, and that he hadn't spent his whole life having every error he made on the field or every at bat that wasn't successful being judged as the result of his gender. I don't want special treatment, and I don't want the errors I make or the hits that I don't to be thought because I'm a woman.

Throughout our double header, everyone made errors, everyone had at bats that did not come to fruition. But when a man made a mistake, I never once heard that the team would be better off if they did not have to play at least 4 men, and never was it implied that the error was due to his being a man.

So often when I point things like this out, my male friends ask, "What the heck can I do?" How about supporting girls athletics? Enroll your daughters in the same sports that you enroll your sons in, even football, if that's what she wants. Attend as many women's professional sporting events as you do Cubs, White Sox, and Bears games. Go to a high school fast pitch softball game for every Friday night football game that you attend. Be just as concerned about your daughter's/sister's/mother's throwing form as your son's/brother's/dad's. Don't hold the women in your life to the standard of being "good enough for a girl," but to the standard of being good.

The same goes for the men in your life, expect them to be capable of cultivating expert seamstress skills,making an awesome casserole, or of manning the church nursery. Teach your daughters and sons about everything and anything, and then let their gifts and talents shine in whatever areas they appear. Your son may gravitate toward football, and your daughter toward cheerleading, or it may just happen the other way around. But either way, you need to be okay with it.

Oh, and don't make me stinking walk when I batted 3 out of 4 and had one walk, one of the best hitting performances on the team, male or female.

Greece is Burning

In June, following some work in Hungary, we travelled to Greece. The wildfires first broke out while we were there, but it seemed as if they were following us. They broke out north of Athens just two days after we drove through that region. We understood nothing on the television, but could recognize Athens with flames blazing behind her. We often saw smoke on the Peloponnesean peninsula where we were, and we often saw helicpoters taking water from the ocean in various towns where we were staying.

We joked when on the tiny secluded island of Kythira that being surrounded by water would seem like a good thing during wild fires, but on second thought, with no bridge and a once a day ferry and practically no English speakers around, that might not be the best case scenario.

We drove through the most secluded region of mountains that I've ever been through (that's saying a lot...I grew up near Appalachia). It felt eerie to be surrounded by the most sheer mountains I've ever seen, with no guardrails, crumbling shoulders on the road, and to not meet a single soul for hour upon hour. (We made a mistake taking a rural road instead of the national highway. Um, don't do that.)

During our time with Beppo (how we dubbed our rental Hyundai Passport), we worried about being unaware of driving into a wildfire. When in the rural parts of Greece, there is often one way in and one way out. What looks like a way out actually will curve around a mountain and deposit you where you started. Unfortunately, the wildfires only continue to spread, and some people have met that very death. *Shudder*

These sweltering temperatures. Global warming? A natural increase in the ebb and flow of life? Some of both? I don't know, but I do know (now) not to climb Acrocorinth when it's 114 Fareheit (45 Celsius). I now understand why Paul was cranky when he was up there preaching to the people having orgies.

*Updated.* I have just been reading more online about the fires, an endeavor that is difficult because there is such little information out there. Saying that the Peloponnesian region is on fire is like saying Illinois is on fire, not very specific. But I found out that those very mountains that we traveled over, the Mount Parnonas region (link is to a word document), is burning and is not yet under control. This area is full of quaint villages of hard working Greek Orthodox who farm olives and lemons and herd goats. My heart breaks for these people, who have very little means or access to get out of these treacherous mountains, and whose entire livelihood will likely be gone for those who do manage to escape. I fell in love with Greece and her people, and it is so sad to see this happening.

And then, sometimes...

you just want to shake them.

The Bonds of Matrimony

Lately, I've been enjoying the minutiae of marriage. The way in which my partner, who rises much earlier than I, covers up the cat vomit with a paper towel so that I won't step in it. Remembering laughing in bed last night, but not remembering what about. The way he always does the laundry, scoops the cat litter box, and manages our Netflix queue and library requests. How he's so quiet in public, but thinks and write deeply and shares those things with me at home.

How he calls me "smokin' hot wife" even when I've only worn various combinations of pajamas, workout clothes, and non descript tshirts in this final week of breathing before school begins again. How he tells me to "take a nap" when I'm tired, or to "stop cleaning already, we won't die if there's water spots on the sink." How he finds obscure music, books, movies, and television shows that make me grow and think outside of myself. How his desk looks neat, but I know the hoarding mess that's within its drawers (well, maybe I'm not loving that...but amusedly smirking how some things never change). How he will fight with me when I become too big for my britches, and make me mix cd's full of angry songs when I'm processing through a needed angry time.

I love the joy on his face about our new DVD recorder, and his insatiable committment to watching "Countdown," "The Daily Show," and "The Colbert Report" although it annoys me at times. How when he comes home from work today, me in my ratty clothes with no dinner made, he'll be just as in love with me as the days when I tart myself up and cook a real dinner. That he notices when I tart myself up and cook a real dinner.

And its all these small things that make marriage a joy worth fighting for during those times when marriage isn't easy. When you're on each other's last nerve, the checking account is overdrawn, and your single friends seem to have a freedom that you gave up years ago. When he did this or she did that, it's hard to see or remember the covered up cat vomit and the sweetness in it. So, right now I'm enjoying the details, and thanking my partner for them.

On the downhill stretch...

I had a doctor's appointment today. It wasn't that kind of appointment. So you won't have to read any stories like this. They wanted to scan my license, but I didn't have it on me (oops), so I offered my student ID instead. The requisite questions followed. "What are you in school for?" "How much longer?"

"Two years. Well, one year of classes. Then internship. I'm almost done."

*Raised eyebrows.* "Two years, that's awhile, but I miss school."

"But I'm almost done. Almost."

I just can't let it go. After two years completing a terminal master's, and two more years of courses. After passing two major exams in the last year (comps and qualifying exams), finishing my dissertation proposal (defense on September 7th), and being in the midst of applying for internship, I must say I am "ALMOST" done. I know that dissertation and internship are two long miles, and those last miles are the hardest you'll ever run. But at least I can see the finish line. I don't hardly count the internship year. Because, guess what, you get PAID! Not much, but you do get paid.

I am a person who needs endings. The regalia, banquets, and ceremonies were created for people like me. So, lady who works in the doctor's office, you let me have it. I'm almost done.

I'm a little embarrassed by number 25

2008 President Selector Rankings:

1. Theoretical Ideal Candidate (100 %)
2. Barack Obama (80 %)
3. Dennis Kucinich (75 %)
4. John Edwards (72 %)
5. Christopher Dodd (72 %)
6. Joseph Biden (67 %)
7. Wesley Clark (not announced) (66 %)
8. Hillary Clinton (66 %)
9. Al Gore (not announced) (64 %)
10. Alan Augustson (campaign suspended) (63 %)
11. Bill Richardson (62 %)
12. Michael Bloomberg (not announced) (52 %)
13. Mike Gravel (50 %)
14. Ron Paul (49 %)
15. Elaine Brown (45 %)
16. Kent McManigal (campaign suspended) (29 %)
17. Mike Huckabee (28 %)
18. Rudolph Giuliani (25 %)
19. Chuck Hagel (not announced) (24 %)
20. Tommy Thompson (withdrawn) (24 %)
21. John McCain (23 %)
22. Mitt Romney (22 %)
23. Tom Tancredo (19 %)
24. Sam Brownback (18 %)
25. Newt Gingrich (not announced) (18 %)
26. Fred Thompson (not announced) (16 %)
27. Duncan Hunter (13 %)
28. Jim Gilmore (withdrawn) (11 %)

Find out your own.

No more 'Made in China'

If we had to, could our country live without Chinese made goods. One family tried. See their story here.

(You may have to sign in. Just grab a login and password from Bugmenot.com

I had always been an ENFJ until now...

Thanks to Jim.

Update

Today, I received the results of my written comprehensive exam. I passed! Praise God, my closest friends and I all passed, despite many worries and concerns.

Unfortunately, I am sick, and any celebrating must wait until I feel better. But, I'm one step closer to being done. Now...I must move on to my dissertation proposal defense on September 7th. Oh, and that oral statistics exam. Sigh. No rest for the wicked, and the righteous don't need none.