Why The Internet is Communal, but Rarely a Community.

I am currently in the process of helping the professor with whom I work with his book that will be published in October of 2008. This quote on community really struck me...

Years ago, I read Dietrich Bonhoeffer’s book, “Life Together.” It influenced me deeply in my thoughts about what the Church can, and can’t, be.[i] Bonhoeffer points out that true Christian community is nothing like the fantasies and illusions we have of a wonderful, welcoming family. It is like that, sometimes, of course. But community is really more like a crucible. We have to live in close proximity with people that we really don’t like. Or, if we did like them in the beginning, we will discover many annoying qualities as well. The crucible of a community heats us up and holds us in so that we can’t get away. In the process, it refines us, bringing the impurities to the surface where they can be skimmed away.

Communities are necessary for spiritual purification. Even the desert fathers and mothers, many of whom lived as hermits in caves, settled in proximity to each other and created the first model for the communal life of monasteries. On our own we too easily avoid noticing where our sharp edges are. When we live in close proximity to others we are constantly bumping up against each other with those unfinished edges. It is much more difficult to hide. As the Proverbs remind us, “as iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”[ii] (Proverbs 27:17, TNIV ). Any who are serious about confronting their own signature sins, then, should seek to be part of a community where this kind of sharpening can take place.

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[i] Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together (New York: Harper, 1954).
[ii] Proverbs 27:17, TNIV

A People's History of My Life

1980: I was born in a stable…ha! just kidding. I was born by traveling down a mysterious tunnel. I was one week late. My mother said this set a precedent for the rest of my life.

1984: My first tee ball game. I like pulling the hat down far over my eyes and playing catcher because I get to stand in the shade.

1985: I start school. My kindergarten teacher tells my parents, “Nicole is a great reader and writer. Most people don’t think that grammar matters at this age, but it do. It do!”

1988: On a family vacation to visit my uncle and his family, I ride 1000 miles in the back seat of a 2 door Chevy Spectrum from Tennessee to Texas with my older brother. Remarkable because I remember it being miserable.

1990: I have my first “boyfriend.” I hold his hand and think that I’m going to marry him.

1991: My awkward stage begins.

1992: I stop perming my naturally curly hair, making for a much less awkward awkward stage.

1993: I graduate from what was 9 years at my elementary school.

1994: High School begins, I am born. First goal: be kissed.

1995: I give up on straightening my curly hair.

1996: I buy a Ford Tempo, and the horn doesn’t work

1997: I stop catching on the fast pitch softball team because of continuing knee problems.

1998: I give a cheesy valedictory speech.

Sunshine, rainbows, and ponies.

While you were all handing out or collecting candy, I was busy writing discussion questions for a book on signature sins. It's a really well written book that looks at our temperament, our struggles with sin that are unique to who we are, our past experiences, and how contemplative spirituality can help us to address the sins that cling so closely. I'll let you know when it comes out. (Oh...wait...let me clear something up. It's NOT my book, but the book of the professor for whom I've worked for the past four years.) But, doing so does not make me a cheerful gal. Everyone else eats candy, I contemplate sin. I guess that fits more with Reformation Day than with it being Halloween. Calvin was a sucker for gluttony, and so am I, so skipping the candy might be a good thing.

In the therapy office today, it seemed to go exceptionally well. Clients that never talk, talked. Clients that are never quiet, were quiet. And clients that considered leaving therapycame in and told me about their misgivings. That's all any therapist can ask for in a given day. It felt like sunshine, rainbows, and ponies. I never would have thought that a profession that leads me to sit with people in their various pains, false selves, and suffering could be so life giving. The honor of sitting with another in love and truth can be as uplifting as it can be full of despair. I wouldn't call the struggles of my clients uplifting, but to see that an hour a week gives some of them hope to keep fighting, changing, and growing, is a relief. It emboldens me to the goodness that we can taste in this life.

It's a busy day, and I am still working on things. I must go. Just know that there is hope, even for those of us who think we are lost causes.

Sandra McCracken and Derek Webb

We saw the pair of them in concert last night. They were playing at two venues close to our home last night and the night before. Although it was the best choice for us not to, I still wish we'd gone to both shows. Derek Webb's music, specifically, has been such a big part of my own journey and gets so much stirred up in me. Maybe he gets the Holy Spirit stirred up, it sure feels that way.

What stands out to me the most, however, are the ways in which Derek's music really speaks in such honest ways about marriage. Watching him and his wife Sandra on stage, it's so refreshing to get a snap shot of a couple who seem to live and fight together so well. I think couples often fail to acknowledge that how we fight is one of the most important aspects of how we love. I continuously learn this about my own marriage every year.

Here are some of my favorite lyrics that Derek Webb has about marriage or relationships. Do you have favorite lyrics on this topic? or favorite Derek Webb lyrics in general?

"Reputation"

i've got a reputation with everyone
but i don't want one with you
i know you know me well enough by now
and you're loving me as well as you know how
but i need one more chance to let you down
'cause no one else will give it to me now

with you, i'm so glad to get into a bad situation
'cause nothing makes us close, nothing like a little incarceration

I Wanna Marry You All Over Again

I wanna buy you an old upright
I wanna accidentally stay all night
I wanna read the Bible and I wanna make out
I wanna marry you all over again
I wanna fall in love and say we’re just friends
I wanna race you all the way to Kansas City

I Hate Everything (But You)

baby don’t give up
we’re the kind of folks who will always live
right around the corner from something big
yeah, yeah, yeah
so baby come on home
you can be the girl on my telephone
and will be your lion made of stone
yeah, yeah, yeah
come on home
yeah, yeah, yeah

(chorus)
it’s been one of those kinds of days
and i feel so out of place
and i hate everything, everything
i hate everything but you

Things I hate...

Party invitations that say, "Unless I hear from you, I expect you'll be there." What? The fancy way of saying that is "Regrets only."

Schwa? Don't be putting things on my calendar for me.