Wow, I left my blog on a down note and went away for awhile. That's no good. So here's an update. I have 9 internship interviews in five different states and Canada. I have interviews at really awesome sites. However, I applied to 18 sites, so that means 9 sites weren't enticed by me. Predominantly college counseling centers and the uber competitive hospitals or community mental health sites in humongous cities. Oh, well, someone else will have to enjoy my awesomey goodness. All in all, 50% is a really high return rate for interviews, so I'm satisfied.
The next three weeks are jam packed, with a New Year's Eve 50th birthday party for my parents that I am hosting with my brother, an interview tour of the Southeast, an interview tour of the Midwest, a trip to Canada for another interview, and this semester I also have a full load of classes, a dissertation to finish, and a life to live. I try not to think about possibly having to leave my friends. I love them so.
The past two days have been spent organizing and cleaning. It makes me happy, and my husband cranky. He sees no point when there are Gameboy Advance games to be played, XFiles Season 7 to watch, and new sweat pants to wear.
I have packing and such to do, so I'm off. I don't know how much time I'll have to post, but I will do my best to keep you updated on what it's like to go through interviews. Let's see how well I manage the transition between very rural sites and major metropolitan ones. Should be interesting.
Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Gratitude
Thanksgiving always turns me toward the concept of gratitude, and this year is no different. Hubs and I cooked an entire dinner, complete with turkey, dressing, various casseroles, cranberry sauce, rolls, and pumpkin pie. For 2 people! We're gluttons today, folks.
But lately, I have felt an overwhelming gratitude for many things in my life. I am thankful for being in a profession where I feel I can daily live out my calling and use my gifts. Most times, I leave sessions saying, "THIS is why I do this." I am thankful for a husband who respects me, adores my independence and my ideas, and thinks that this overweight body is delightfully appealing. Our marriage has felt especially rewarding these days.
However, my thoughts also inevitably turn to our next steps. For the longest time, my academic background in sociology, training in community psychology, and idealistic nature has combined swimmingly with our shared Christian faith and Hub's love for social justice and a Tony Campolo type of Jesus faith. The result is that we have long felt a call to live in a neighborhood many young professionals would shun. One where the houses are less than pristine, where crime is not an anomaly, where people work hard and many never get caught up, much less ahead.
If we head back to our home in Tennessee for my internship, we plan to buy a home in such a neighborhood. In my head, we'll be these urban Christian hippies who grow our organic garden in the backyard and invite our multi-colored neighbors over for happy hour with everything from Pabst Blue Ribbon to pomegranate martinis.
I joined the neighborhood yahoo group for one such area where we might live, and the reality busted my bubble a bit. Yes, there are regularly scheduled social events in this diverse neighborhood, but there are also neighborhood meetings on how to respond to prostitution, public relations initiatives to explain those two murders, and other evidence that our children would likely NOT be riding their bicycles down an idyllic tree-lined street, as I did in my youth.
I am not doubting what I feel is God's call to stretch myself beyond the comfort of my white-bred (and white-bread) rural upbringing to grasp what is good about living in the reality of a grittier, less insulated life. People breathe, and people breed, and people live, and people die. I don't want to miss that, but I do seriously doubt my own faithfulness to do this. Can I go from one of the most affluent, predominantly Christian suburbs of Chicago to the reality of an impoverished small city in the American South?
My brother points out that I could minister to "those people" without living with them. My father points out that the resell value of our home will likely not be good. My mother worries about the schools our children will attend. I am not naive, these are worries that I have, as well. But, I can't get past that all of these are selfish concerns. All about if me and mine are getting the best, if we can insulate ourselves from the reality that many have no choice to live in and with everyday. Realities of poverty, discrimination, disadvantage, disappointment, and suffering.
I don't have hopes of swooping in and saving anyone, that is not why the desire to live in this way came about when I was 19, and has not waned one iota. It's because as much as I feel I have something to offer, I also have something to gain. But what I have to gain is more intangible, less measurable, and more elusive. Thus, I listen to the doubters who doubt for good reason. They love me and they want to forestall their own losses by keeping Hubs and I safe.
Gratitude. Can I be grateful for what God is calling me to? That, I'm not sure. Not yet, anyway.
But lately, I have felt an overwhelming gratitude for many things in my life. I am thankful for being in a profession where I feel I can daily live out my calling and use my gifts. Most times, I leave sessions saying, "THIS is why I do this." I am thankful for a husband who respects me, adores my independence and my ideas, and thinks that this overweight body is delightfully appealing. Our marriage has felt especially rewarding these days.
However, my thoughts also inevitably turn to our next steps. For the longest time, my academic background in sociology, training in community psychology, and idealistic nature has combined swimmingly with our shared Christian faith and Hub's love for social justice and a Tony Campolo type of Jesus faith. The result is that we have long felt a call to live in a neighborhood many young professionals would shun. One where the houses are less than pristine, where crime is not an anomaly, where people work hard and many never get caught up, much less ahead.
If we head back to our home in Tennessee for my internship, we plan to buy a home in such a neighborhood. In my head, we'll be these urban Christian hippies who grow our organic garden in the backyard and invite our multi-colored neighbors over for happy hour with everything from Pabst Blue Ribbon to pomegranate martinis.
I joined the neighborhood yahoo group for one such area where we might live, and the reality busted my bubble a bit. Yes, there are regularly scheduled social events in this diverse neighborhood, but there are also neighborhood meetings on how to respond to prostitution, public relations initiatives to explain those two murders, and other evidence that our children would likely NOT be riding their bicycles down an idyllic tree-lined street, as I did in my youth.
I am not doubting what I feel is God's call to stretch myself beyond the comfort of my white-bred (and white-bread) rural upbringing to grasp what is good about living in the reality of a grittier, less insulated life. People breathe, and people breed, and people live, and people die. I don't want to miss that, but I do seriously doubt my own faithfulness to do this. Can I go from one of the most affluent, predominantly Christian suburbs of Chicago to the reality of an impoverished small city in the American South?
My brother points out that I could minister to "those people" without living with them. My father points out that the resell value of our home will likely not be good. My mother worries about the schools our children will attend. I am not naive, these are worries that I have, as well. But, I can't get past that all of these are selfish concerns. All about if me and mine are getting the best, if we can insulate ourselves from the reality that many have no choice to live in and with everyday. Realities of poverty, discrimination, disadvantage, disappointment, and suffering.
I don't have hopes of swooping in and saving anyone, that is not why the desire to live in this way came about when I was 19, and has not waned one iota. It's because as much as I feel I have something to offer, I also have something to gain. But what I have to gain is more intangible, less measurable, and more elusive. Thus, I listen to the doubters who doubt for good reason. They love me and they want to forestall their own losses by keeping Hubs and I safe.
Gratitude. Can I be grateful for what God is calling me to? That, I'm not sure. Not yet, anyway.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
I can't believe that I forgot to do that!
Last night I made a 'to do' list for today. I didn't want to forget anything. Hubby left before I did this morning, and when I woke up and retrieved my list, he had added an additional task for me to complete. I got everything done except that one thing.
Saturday, November 17, 2007
The Annoying Reasons Why I Love Him
His refusal to wear socks, but sticking his cold feet on me.
His need to poop naked.
His hoarding of past date foodstuffs. Including a can of collard greens circa 2003.
His habit of saying "What are you up to?" when he has nothing else to say and it's evident that you're up to something really obvious.
The over-usage of soap and body wash. His insistence on using a loofah.
His hoarding of digital images, even the accidental shots inside his coat pocket.
His penchant for taking pictures of any and all birds, particularly pigeons.
The refusal to go to the damn eye doctor, even though one lens fell out months ago and he put it back in upside down, and one of the eye pads is attached with a string that I used in a pinch about 10 months ago.
How he asks "What's for dinner?" when I get home more than an hour later than he does.
How he calls me a thousand times from the grocery store to ask questions, but still brings home the wrong kind of oatmeal.
That the drive-thru window overwhelms him. The choices! The ordering! The awkwardness! He gets all anxious.
That he insists on a turkey for Thanksgiving, even when the smallest we can find is 12lbs..for 2 people.
That he loves me as much as I love him, despite my annoyances, too.
His need to poop naked.
His hoarding of past date foodstuffs. Including a can of collard greens circa 2003.
His habit of saying "What are you up to?" when he has nothing else to say and it's evident that you're up to something really obvious.
The over-usage of soap and body wash. His insistence on using a loofah.
His hoarding of digital images, even the accidental shots inside his coat pocket.
His penchant for taking pictures of any and all birds, particularly pigeons.
The refusal to go to the damn eye doctor, even though one lens fell out months ago and he put it back in upside down, and one of the eye pads is attached with a string that I used in a pinch about 10 months ago.
How he asks "What's for dinner?" when I get home more than an hour later than he does.
How he calls me a thousand times from the grocery store to ask questions, but still brings home the wrong kind of oatmeal.
That the drive-thru window overwhelms him. The choices! The ordering! The awkwardness! He gets all anxious.
That he insists on a turkey for Thanksgiving, even when the smallest we can find is 12lbs..for 2 people.
That he loves me as much as I love him, despite my annoyances, too.
Feminists Are Sexy
Feminists have more rewarding relationships. A feminist woman married to a feminist man results in really outstanding sex. So says a new study that was recently purchase in Sex Roles. I knew that there was a reason that I married a feminist.
Friday, November 09, 2007
I held a baby tonight..
And my ovaries exploded. I don't know which I wanted more, the small child that I was holding or the cute little schnauzer prancing around the house. Of course, I then realized that no babies and no dogs equal a lot less poop in my life than in some others' lives. For that I was thankful.
Anyone out there ever gone through this whole graduate school/internship thing and have children? When's a good time? There is no perfect time, I know! But, I wonder how having a baby fits into the life schedule. You'd think I might consult God on these things, but that guy has a habit of giving me answers that I don't like, and I"m feeling selfish today. I promise I'll talk to him about that after internship applications are done. Oh, and maybe to my husband. It's not like a can bare his child without at least a little bit of his involvement.
If you're reading this blog and I've sent you an application, don't worry. I'm not having a baby during internship. But you may have to make way for my bloated belly at some point during the process, and put my office near the bathroom.
Anyone out there ever gone through this whole graduate school/internship thing and have children? When's a good time? There is no perfect time, I know! But, I wonder how having a baby fits into the life schedule. You'd think I might consult God on these things, but that guy has a habit of giving me answers that I don't like, and I"m feeling selfish today. I promise I'll talk to him about that after internship applications are done. Oh, and maybe to my husband. It's not like a can bare his child without at least a little bit of his involvement.
If you're reading this blog and I've sent you an application, don't worry. I'm not having a baby during internship. But you may have to make way for my bloated belly at some point during the process, and put my office near the bathroom.
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Sandra McCracken and Derek Webb
We saw the pair of them in concert last night. They were playing at two venues close to our home last night and the night before. Although it was the best choice for us not to, I still wish we'd gone to both shows. Derek Webb's music, specifically, has been such a big part of my own journey and gets so much stirred up in me. Maybe he gets the Holy Spirit stirred up, it sure feels that way.
What stands out to me the most, however, are the ways in which Derek's music really speaks in such honest ways about marriage. Watching him and his wife Sandra on stage, it's so refreshing to get a snap shot of a couple who seem to live and fight together so well. I think couples often fail to acknowledge that how we fight is one of the most important aspects of how we love. I continuously learn this about my own marriage every year.
Here are some of my favorite lyrics that Derek Webb has about marriage or relationships. Do you have favorite lyrics on this topic? or favorite Derek Webb lyrics in general?
"Reputation"
I Wanna Marry You All Over Again
I Hate Everything (But You)
What stands out to me the most, however, are the ways in which Derek's music really speaks in such honest ways about marriage. Watching him and his wife Sandra on stage, it's so refreshing to get a snap shot of a couple who seem to live and fight together so well. I think couples often fail to acknowledge that how we fight is one of the most important aspects of how we love. I continuously learn this about my own marriage every year.
Here are some of my favorite lyrics that Derek Webb has about marriage or relationships. Do you have favorite lyrics on this topic? or favorite Derek Webb lyrics in general?
"Reputation"
i've got a reputation with everyone
but i don't want one with you
i know you know me well enough by now
and you're loving me as well as you know how
but i need one more chance to let you down
'cause no one else will give it to me now
with you, i'm so glad to get into a bad situation
'cause nothing makes us close, nothing like a little incarceration
I Wanna Marry You All Over Again
I wanna buy you an old upright
I wanna accidentally stay all night
I wanna read the Bible and I wanna make out
I wanna marry you all over again
I wanna fall in love and say we’re just friends
I wanna race you all the way to Kansas City
I Hate Everything (But You)
baby don’t give up
we’re the kind of folks who will always live
right around the corner from something big
yeah, yeah, yeah
so baby come on home
you can be the girl on my telephone
and will be your lion made of stone
yeah, yeah, yeah
come on home
yeah, yeah, yeah
(chorus)
it’s been one of those kinds of days
and i feel so out of place
and i hate everything, everything
i hate everything but you
Thursday, August 23, 2007
The Bonds of Matrimony
Lately, I've been enjoying the minutiae of marriage. The way in which my partner, who rises much earlier than I, covers up the cat vomit with a paper towel so that I won't step in it. Remembering laughing in bed last night, but not remembering what about. The way he always does the laundry, scoops the cat litter box, and manages our Netflix queue and library requests. How he's so quiet in public, but thinks and write deeply and shares those things with me at home.
How he calls me "smokin' hot wife" even when I've only worn various combinations of pajamas, workout clothes, and non descript tshirts in this final week of breathing before school begins again. How he tells me to "take a nap" when I'm tired, or to "stop cleaning already, we won't die if there's water spots on the sink." How he finds obscure music, books, movies, and television shows that make me grow and think outside of myself. How his desk looks neat, but I know the hoarding mess that's within its drawers (well, maybe I'm not loving that...but amusedly smirking how some things never change). How he will fight with me when I become too big for my britches, and make me mix cd's full of angry songs when I'm processing through a needed angry time.
I love the joy on his face about our new DVD recorder, and his insatiable committment to watching "Countdown," "The Daily Show," and "The Colbert Report" although it annoys me at times. How when he comes home from work today, me in my ratty clothes with no dinner made, he'll be just as in love with me as the days when I tart myself up and cook a real dinner. That he notices when I tart myself up and cook a real dinner.
And its all these small things that make marriage a joy worth fighting for during those times when marriage isn't easy. When you're on each other's last nerve, the checking account is overdrawn, and your single friends seem to have a freedom that you gave up years ago. When he did this or she did that, it's hard to see or remember the covered up cat vomit and the sweetness in it. So, right now I'm enjoying the details, and thanking my partner for them.
How he calls me "smokin' hot wife" even when I've only worn various combinations of pajamas, workout clothes, and non descript tshirts in this final week of breathing before school begins again. How he tells me to "take a nap" when I'm tired, or to "stop cleaning already, we won't die if there's water spots on the sink." How he finds obscure music, books, movies, and television shows that make me grow and think outside of myself. How his desk looks neat, but I know the hoarding mess that's within its drawers (well, maybe I'm not loving that...but amusedly smirking how some things never change). How he will fight with me when I become too big for my britches, and make me mix cd's full of angry songs when I'm processing through a needed angry time.
I love the joy on his face about our new DVD recorder, and his insatiable committment to watching "Countdown," "The Daily Show," and "The Colbert Report" although it annoys me at times. How when he comes home from work today, me in my ratty clothes with no dinner made, he'll be just as in love with me as the days when I tart myself up and cook a real dinner. That he notices when I tart myself up and cook a real dinner.
And its all these small things that make marriage a joy worth fighting for during those times when marriage isn't easy. When you're on each other's last nerve, the checking account is overdrawn, and your single friends seem to have a freedom that you gave up years ago. When he did this or she did that, it's hard to see or remember the covered up cat vomit and the sweetness in it. So, right now I'm enjoying the details, and thanking my partner for them.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
<
